Happy Holidays Only to the Woman Singing Yelp Reviews on TikTok

December 27, 2019 Admin 0 Comments

Pivot to musicals in 2020, please!

Yelp can either be an incredibly useful website if you’re looking for somewhere to eat, or a hellhole of petty grievances. There is no in between. You get open hours and whether or not a spot is BYOB, or you get some dude scream-typing about how he watched Hell’s Kitchen once and this risotto was not exactly the consistency he saw on TV and HE WOULD GIVE ZERO STARS IF HE COULD. So singer and comedian Grace Hayes decided to immortalize outlandish Yelp reviews... in song.

Hayes has a series of videos, each dedicated to reviews of different fast food chains. In one, a Taco Bell customer’s quesadilla was “severely lacking in sour cream,” or as another put it, “quesadilla blasphemy.” In her video about McDonald’s, she soothingly croons about Sprite that tastes like gas. And apparently someone described Arby’s as a “mess of meats and curdled cheese.” Hayes string these complaints together into beautiful piano pieces. Sara Bareilles could never!

This is an extremely pleasant way to absorb the reality that somebody had a fried fly in their fries, and that another person thought their Arby’s meat looked green. Let’s all pivot to more sung reviews in 2020. I want to hear an opera about Hudson Yards.