Don’t Host a Traditional Thanksgiving. Skip the Turkey and Try This Instead.

October 15, 2019 Admin 0 Comments

Your table doesn’t need to look like a Norman Rockwell painting

Every November, without fail, food publications promise to help you master the perfect Thanksgiving. “Best turkey ever!” and “101 drool-worthy sides!” they tease. What follows is usually a rehashing of the holiday’s greatest hits with a few new bells and whistles thrown in, because Thanksgiving is all about tradition (and I would know— I’ve spent a decade-plus in food media, helping put together many of those Thanksgiving packages).

This is all well and good if you plan to host a textbook Thanksgiving feast. (And if you do, please see our own recommendations for how to do it right, right this way). But I’m going to tell you something: You don’t have to listen to any of that stuff. You can, and arguably should, feel free to have a totally un-Rockwellian Thanksgiving celebration. Maybe you’re conscientiously objecting to complicated family situations, maybe you have to work, or maybe you, like me, just don’t like turkey very much. You can still throw down for Thanksgiving, but make it your own. After all, tradition is overrated.

Skip the Turkey

I’m just going to lay it down: Turkey is an inferior meat. On a sandwich, it’s fine. But as a centerpiece to a feast that you’ve likely spent many hours preparing, the ROI just isn’t there. I’ve written in the past about hosting Porksgiving, and I’m a staunch ham proponent— it’s dead simple (it’s already cooked, so all you have to do is make a glaze and carve it), cost-effective, and delivers about 100 times more flavor per square bite than turkey.

Other festive meat things you can make besides turkey (or ham):

• Bo ssam
• Peking Duck
• Beef Wellington

I’m not the only one who feels this way: Eater Young Gun Lucas Sin (‘19) grew up in Hong Kong before attending college in the United States. “As an immigrant who has less reason to adhere to Thanksgiving tradition,” he says, “many of my Thanksgivings have featured Chinese bastardization/hacks. Turkey just isn’t as succulent as chicken or duck, and what is the deal with the textural uniformity of casseroles, pumpkin pie, and stuffing?” He recalls holidays alone on campus with a crew of international students, cooking up braised duck stuffed with glutinous rice, sweet potatoes with black rice vinegar, and corn and pine nuts in lieu of traditional Thanksgiving fare.

You Don’t Need a Dining Table

Unfortunately, you cannot create more square footage into being through will power alone. But that shouldn’t stop you from inviting all of your people over. Here’s how to accommodate them all:

• Tabletops don’t need to come from tables. Upturned cardboard boxes, bookshelves, filing cabinets, and essentially anything with a flat surface can be used as a table. Just throw a tablecloth, pretty sheet, or even a nice silk scarf on top.
• Same goes for chairs. Ottomans, couches, and the floor are also perfectly viable substitutes; and-or ask your friends to bring their own.
• You might not be able to fit everything on the table, and that’s totally fine. Set up a buffet in the kitchen, and have guests serve themselves directly out of the cookingware, assembly-line style.

Looks Aren’t Everything

Now that you are no longer beholden to turkey, you can also free yourself from the pressure to create a Martha-worthy tablescape.

• “Embrace mismatched tableware, furniture, and linens and focus on clean lines to keep things from feeling chaotic,” says Eater Young Gun Annie Kamin (’19). “Space things as evenly as possible and create rhythm and balance by evenly distributing both large and small dishes across the table.”
• Speaking of the table, you can make it look beautiful with found materials from your own backyard. “Gather pine branches (can also double as incense), cones, moss, fall leaves, and anything pretty you can find (shake free of bugs!) and arrange right on the table or on a cake platter,” suggests fellow Young Gun Ashleigh Shanti (’19).
• Finally, don’t have a huge tablecloth? Use a canvas drop cloth instead. “They’re really cheap and no one will guess that you got it from the hardware store,” swears Kamin.

Just Go to a Restaurant

Here’s a radical idea: You don’t have to cook, not even at all. Go to a restaurant instead. Here’s a bunch that are open in New York. And Los Angeles. And San Francisco. And Las Vegas. Many restaurants offer special prix-fixe menus for Thanksgiving, and they tend to book up early, so make reservations in advance and tip extra-well.

That said, you can also go out to a restaurant and not eat Thanksgiving-themed food. Been wanting to try that Sichuan spot in deep Chinatown? Curious about that Georgian place an hour away? There won’t be any traffic; tonight is your night to make it happen. (Tip extra-well here, too.)

Family Is Whatever You Say It Is

Families are complicated, and it’s not always feasible (or advisable) to be with relativess on Thanksgiving. Remember, one of the pleasures of hosting is that you get to invite whomever you want to, and celebrate however you see fit. (This also means observing Thanksgiving on whatever day you choose to — not everyone has the day off from work.) “Last year, my friend group had a late-night, post-service Friendsgiving in our pajamas. We will likely do the same this year,” said Shanti. Chosen families are family too.

Jamie Feldmar is a Los Angeles-based writer and cookbook author. See more at jamiefeldmar.com and follow her @jfeldmar.
Juliette Toma is an illustrator based in Los Angeles.